Non-Attachment in Buddhism: Exploring the Buddhist Teachings on Attachment
Carrie Ingoglia When I started learning about the Buddha’s teachings, I got stuck on the idea of non-attachment in Buddhism. I was especially struck by two ideas central to the Buddhist teachings on attachment, both of which I initially resisted:
- That suffering is inevitable. I remember thinking, “I like my life. Do I have to suffer?”
- To relieve suffering, we must not be attached to things, people, and ideas. My resistance to this idea was immediate, and sounded like, “How can I be a good friend or family member if I’m not attached to my loved ones?” And “How can I go through life without being attached to anything?”
Over time, I’ve come to find some peace with non-attachment in Buddhism, and here’s why.
Buddhism and Non-Attachment: How Attachment Relates to Suffering
Buddhism views attachment as a pivotal cause of suffering.
Buddhism views attachment as a pivotal cause of suffering, often using the Sanskrit term “duḥkha” (Pāli dukkha), which can refer to physical pain or emotional turmoil, both of which are part of the human condition. Suffering comes from our innate yearning for permanence, satisfaction, and control in a world characterized by impermanence and constant flux.
Suffering comes from our yearning for permanence, satisfaction, and control in a world characterized by impermanence and constant flux.
According to Buddhism, attachment and suffering go hand-in-hand. When we like something, we want it to remain. When we don’t like it, we want it to go away. Either way, we’re often comparing the real present moment to an imagined one that we prefer or that we’re attached to.
These attachments stem from our deeply ingrained tendency to cling to experiences that bring pleasure while avoiding those that evoke discomfort. But because our internal and external environments are always changing, this attachment perpetuates suffering, binding us to a relentless cycle of craving, aversion, and ignorance.
Is there a way to love people, dislike pain, and still practice non-attachment in Buddhism?
Is there a way to love people, dislike pain, and still practice non-attachment in Buddhism?
Buddhism and Attachment: Suffering and The Five Skandhas
Our attachment to phenomena sets in motion a chain of interconnected causes and effects, ultimately culminating in suffering. This chain is described in the foundational Buddhist teaching of the five skandhas (Sanskrit, “heaps” or “aggregates”).
The teaching of the five skandhas describes how attachment leads to suffering.
The cycle starts with ignorance (avidyā), referring specifically to our fundamental misconception of reality, particularly its fluctuating and impermanent nature. That ignorance leads to ideas or mental formations (saṃskāra), shaped by our past experiences, desires, and beliefs—meaning, this thing has happened in the past, so we think it will always happen in the same way. These formations shape our awareness of the world around us and, in fact, our consciousness (vijñāna).
Our experience of form (rūpa), sensory contact with the material world; sensation (vedanā), internal feelings received from forms; perception (saṃjñā), perception of the qualities of forms; mental formations (saṃskāra), mentally arising volitions and dispositions; and consciousness (vijñāna), the mental recognition of the other four factors, together make up our sense of self and identity. These are the five skandhas.
It can be helpful to think about a practical example. If I have a job as a web programmer, I go to work every day to do web programming. This job pays me money so I can help take care of family. This job, its work and title, become part of my experience and my self-identity. I am a web programmer. I am someone who makes money and helps take care of my family.
So what happens if I’m laid off from my job? Not only are there the practical questions of income and health insurance, but also the existential ones: Who am I, if I’m not a web programmer? Who am I, if I am not making money to provide for my family?
This attachment to self-identity may be the trickiest of all. It leads to craving (Sanskrit tṛ́ṣṇā, Pāli taṇhā), the fervent desire for pleasurable experiences, and the aversion to unpleasant ones. Craving leads to clinging (Sanskrit and Pāli upādāna), as we grasp onto people, possessions, and experiences in pursuit of enduring happiness and security. This clinging ultimately leads to more suffering, since everything inside and outside us is always changing.
Liberation from Attachment in Buddhism: The Path to Freedom
Despite the seemingly insurmountable cycle of suffering, Buddhism offers a pathway to liberation from attachment and its ensuing suffering. At its core lies the Four Noble Truths, serving as the cornerstone of Buddhist doctrine.
Buddhism offers a pathway to liberation from attachment and its ensuing suffering, through the Four Noble Truths and the Eightfold Path.
The first Noble Truth acknowledges the ubiquity of suffering (Sanskrit duḥkha) in human existence. The second Noble Truth identifies craving (tṛ́ṣṇā) and attachment (upādāna) as the root cause of suffering. The third Noble Truth heralds the cessation of suffering, attainable through the transcendence of attachment and craving. Finally, the fourth Noble Truth prescribes the Eightfold Path, a pragmatic roadmap to liberation from suffering.
The Eightfold Path comprises eight interrelated factors that foster wisdom (Sanskrit prajñā), ethical conduct (śīla), and mental discipline (samādhi). These factors encompass Right View, Right Intention, Right Speech, Right Action, Right Livelihood, Right Effort, Right Mindfulness, and Right Concentration.
By traversing the Eightfold Path, individuals gradually loosen their attachment to desires and nurture a deeper comprehension of reality’s true nature. This allows us to cultivate wisdom and insight, empowering one to extricate themselves from the cycle of suffering and attain liberation, or Nirvana.
In the World: Buddhism and Non-Attachment in the Context of Job and Family
Nirvana is great and everything, but it can feel distant, esoteric, and impractical when it comes to daily life. Now, let’s address the question: “Can I still be attached to my job and family?”
Buddhism doesn’t prescribe a blanket renunciation of worldly responsibilities or relationships. Instead, it advocates for a balanced approach rooted in mindfulness, wisdom, and compassion.
Buddhism doesn’t prescribe a blanket renunciation of worldly responsibilities or relationships. Instead, it advocates for a balanced approach rooted in mindfulness, wisdom, and compassion. While it’s natural to develop attachments to one’s job and family, the key lies in fostering a healthy relationship with these aspects of life.
Being attached to one’s job can lead to stress, burnout, and a sense of identity tied solely to professional achievements. Similarly, excessive attachment to family can breed codependency, suffocating individual growth and autonomy.
We know that everything in life is changing and evolving. Excess attachment can only add to suffering when these things inevitably change—when there are layoffs at work, changes in the family structure, and so on.
Working with Attachment through Buddhist Practice: A Personal Example
We can now try to answer another practical question raised earlier: “Is there a way to love people, dislike pain, and still practice non-attachment in Buddhism?”
In short, yes. And it’s all about staying present with what is.
A few weeks ago, I had a flare-up of plantar fasciitis and was in quite a bit of pain. I had a hike planned in a few days that I’d now need to cancel and a host of other regular activities that were going to be challenging. I spent a whole day and night being angry and disappointed. But as I began to care for my foot and take measures to recover, I realized that although this was annoying and uncomfortable, ultimately it was not the end of the world. I started moving slower. Removing things from my to-do list. And eventually, I felt better—emotionally and physically.
What was happening when I was angry? I was attached to the idea of a pain-free day. I was attached to the plans I’d made. What happened when I started to recover was an ability to recognize I had to let go of those expectations and simply live with reality. Once I accepted I wasn’t going to be able to do everything I’d expected to do, things got a little bit easier.
Buddhism encourages cultivating mindful awareness of our attachments and their impact on our well-being.
Buddhism encourages cultivating mindful awareness of these attachments and their impact on our well-being. Rather than clinging to roles or expectations, strive for a balanced perspective, recognizing the impermanent nature of all things, including relationships and career paths—and our sense of self.
In my case, this meant recognizing my pain level in the moment and also becoming aware that the frustration and disappointment I felt was keeping me from being present in any part of my daily reality.
Practicing non-attachment in Buddhism can be as small (and as big) as just that—accepting the present moment and letting go of the need for control over outcomes. It’s being in reality, not attached to a vision we have of what it should be.
By engaging in mindful communication and genuine connection with loved ones, approaching work with effort, but also with detachment from outcomes, that is how we can practice every day.
By integrating Buddhist principles into our daily lives, we can navigate the complexities of attachment to job and family with greater equanimity, fostering harmony, and well-being in all aspects of our lives.
Buddhism and Non-Attachment: Summing Up
Non-attachment in Buddhism is not about leaving behind our lives as householders. Instead, prescribing a more balanced approach—a middle path, if you will.
Buddhism offers profound insights into the nature of attachment and its impact on human suffering. By unraveling the intricacies of attachment and following the Eightfold Path, individuals can gradually liberate ourselves from the cycle of suffering and attain true happiness and fulfillment. While attachment to job and family is natural, applying Buddhist principles can help cultivate a balanced perspective, fostering greater peace, contentment, and harmony in our lives. As the Buddha famously declared, “Attachment leads to suffering; let go of attachment, and suffering ceases.”
This article is part of the Shambhala.org Community Blog, which offers reflections by Shambhala community members on their individual journeys in meditation and spirituality.
