Meditation Retreats: How to Find the Best Meditation Retreat for You

March 2, 2023

Here’s something I’d feel silly saying at a dinner party: Meditation retreats are one of the very best things in life. In my experience, most meditation retreats are wonderful, joyful, rejuvenating, inspiring—everything you’d hope for, and more. Beyond that, though, meditation retreats are often life-changing: in a good retreat, you’ll find that you enter one way and leave another, with your view of life permanently deepened and enriched.

Beyond just being wonderful, meditation retreats can be life-changing.

The best meditation retreat for you is the one that will best match your experience level, worldview, and goals for your retreat. Whether it’s your first meditation retreat or your fifty-first, here’s some advice on making your next meditation retreat a great experience.

1. Finding a Meditation Retreat: Retreat Type

Step one in finding the best meditation retreat for you is understanding whether you’re going on retreat just to meditate, or to engage with spiritual teachings. A silent retreat will be more like the former, while a retreat led by a teacher and having a particular topic (such as “Discovering Compassion”) will be more like the latter.

Meditation-only retreats will be more intensive and focused, while topical retreats will be more based on exploring content.

The retreat you choose should match your interest. Are you looking for a Buddhist meditation retreat, that will explore specific Buddhist teachings? (If so, do you have a sense which flavor of Buddhism, and which teachings, most interest you?) Would you like a mindfulness meditation retreat for beginners, which emphasizes getting comfortable with intensive meditation practice and does not contain added content beyond that? Would you like a meditation retreat that explores a specific topic in your life, such as relationships or aging? Or are you specifically looking for a retreat that mixes meditation with another practice, such as yoga or qi gong? All these options are out there, so consider what most excites you.

The overall tradeoff is simply that meditation-only retreats will be more intensive and focused, while topical retreats (because they have talks, Q&As, specific practice exercises, and so on) will be more based on exploring content and will include less silent meditation.

There’s no right or wrong answer here: just meditating intensively for days on end is quite powerful, as is engaging with a specific topic within a meditation retreat setting. It comes down to what you’re interested in.

2. Finding a Meditation Retreat: Community and Teachers

While completely unaffiliated meditation retreats do exist, most meditation retreats will be associated with a particular contemplative or spiritual community.

You don’t have to follow the community or teacher organizing your retreat, but you should feel that they could be a good fit.

For your meditation retreat to go well, it’s not necessary for you to follow or identify with the community or teacher organizing it. However, you should have a general impression of them, and feel that it’s potentially a good fit.

Community

Consider the nature of the community hosting the retreat. Is it closely organized around a specific religious tradition (such as Sōtō Zen), or is it more generally spiritual or secular in nature (such as Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction)? In other words, how well-defined will the beliefs and practices of most other participants be, and is this a good fit for you?

Teachers

In general, most meditation retreats that aren’t completely silent will have one or more teachers leading them. Try to get a sense of a retreat’s teachers and their teaching style. Look through any books, articles, YouTube videos, and so on that you can find.

If a retreat has teachers, try to get a sense of their energy and teaching style.

It’s of course important to weed out teachers that you actively dislike or distrust. Beyond that, a meditation retreat could help you connect with a teacher who could be a great resource in your life. Again, a teacher never needs to become “your teacher,” but in a meditation retreat you will get a strong sense of their energy. Look for teachers who feel trustworthy, caring, and whom you feel drawn to, and accept that finding good teachers is more an art than a science: it ultimately boils down to the connection you feel with them, and how much they benefit your own meditation practice, and those things are organic and unpredictable rather than being only a matter of boxes checked.

3. Finding a Meditation Retreat: Setting and Environment

The physical setting of your meditation retreat will play a major role in your retreat experience.

Urban meditation retreats are certainly a thing. I’ve gone on meditation retreats in Manhattan (noisy!), and a clean bedroom in your own house or apartment can be just fine as a retreat setting, especially if the bedroom is equipped with a shrine.

The best settings for longer meditation retreats are rural, at dedicated retreat centers.

However, especially for longer or more intensive retreats, the best settings for meditation retreats are rural, especially at dedicated retreat centers. A retreat center is a large area of pristine land dedicated to hosting meditation retreats and similar contemplative events.

Retreat centers reduce distraction simply by being remote. (They may, for example, have limited cell service or internet access, which is a plus in a meditation retreat.) More importantly, the connection you will make with nature in a rural setting will give you many of your most powerful and memorable retreat experiences. It’s very lovely to be in nature with a mind opened by meditation, so for the best meditation retreat, find a retreat center that you feel drawn to and that you find beautiful.

4. Finding a Meditation Retreat: Meditation Practice

The actual meditation practice you’ll be doing during your retreat will play a huge role in your retreat experience. Some mindfulness meditation techniques are more regimented, such as body scans or paying attention to the breath at the nostrils, and other practices are more open, such as relaxing with panoramic awareness.

More regimented techniques help keep the mind from wandering and can be a good fit for newer meditators, but can also feel more strenuous than more open practices.

In general, more regimented techniques are great for helping the mind remain undistracted, and can be an especially good fit for people newer to meditation, but they can also feel more strenuous over time than more open practices. Ideally you’ll have a meditation technique you’re already happy with going into your retreat, so look for a retreat that’s compatible with that approach.

Physical posture

Try to be clear on what the meditation retreat will entail in terms of your physical meditation posture. What are the “default” meditation cushions like? Can you bring your own? Can you sit in a chair if needed? These will be big parts of your experience for hours per day, so make sure you’re clear on the physical elements of meditation in your retreat.

Physical aches and pains are among the biggest challenges of many meditation retreats.

Physical aches and pains are among the biggest challenges of many meditation retreats. Some of this may be unavoidable, as your body simply won’t be used to so much upright sitting, but the retreat guidelines can make a big difference.

In our own tradition, remaining motionless—especially through pain—is not regarded as necessary or helpful, and we are happy to offer chairs and other accommodations. Other traditions take physical stillness very seriously, and some encourage postures such as the lotus posture that are uncomfortable for untrained people. If you’re looking for a Buddhist meditation retreat or a retreat through another spiritual community, know that these communities may have more elaborate guidelines around posture and technique. By contrast, you’re likely to find quite relaxed, practical rules in a mindfulness meditation retreat for beginners.

Overall, make sure you understand what the expectations will be, and how you’ll work with meditation technique and physical posture, going into your retreat.

5. Finding a Meditation Retreat: Retreat Container

A meditation retreat’s container is its retreat environment, supported by specific guidelines for building that environment. The container is what makes it a retreat.

A meditation retreat’s container is its retreat environment, supported by specific guidelines.

During your retreat, you’ll likely be asked to stay off electronic devices, to refrain from starting new romantic relationships, to avoid traveling into town for karaoke night, and so on. All these restrictions exist to create a container for the retreat: a shared space for retreat participants that is free from distractions, and which can gather spiritual power as the retreat continues.

(This isn’t unique to retreats, by the way: container principle also describes why board meetings are held in boardrooms rather than at crowded coffee shops, or why people can’t just wander in and out of a play or a movie once it’s started.)

To find the best meditation container for you, you’ll want to study the retreat’s container carefully. Consider how you will do in the setting that the retreat will provide. Some elements to consider include:

Wakeup and sleep times

Some meditation retreats have predawn wakeup times, and some have more generous wakeup times in the early-ish morning. How intensive do you want your experience to be? And how well do you work with being tired?

Total hours of meditation per day

In some retreats (especially the ones with very early wakeup times), you may be meditating for well over twelve hours per day. Other retreats may have longer mealtimes, breaks, and chore periods (which we call “rota” in Shambhala), and may involve closer to eight full hours of meditation per day. More hours might be better for you, or not: it depends on your experience with meditation, and how you want your retreat experience to feel overall.

Speech and silence

Many meditation retreats use rules restricting speech. Some are totally and completely silent (this is sometimes called practicing “noble silence”), and in some cases even involve not making eye contact with others throughout the retreat.

Other meditation retreats go through different variations on speech and silence. Retreats led by a teacher will usually include talks and Q&As, but may be silent otherwise. Longer retreats may play with different container configurations, with some fully silent days and some days that include periods of “functional talking,” meaning speech that’s useful for work and practical matters (like “Would you please put away the plates?”).

Since entertainment is so limited during a meditation retreat, speech rules with gray areas can unfortunately devolve quickly into people writing “That was hilarious!!!!” on sticky notes and then snorting like badgers, so be prepared for some sleepless nights contemplating how your fellow sentient beings could be so misguided. In any case, try to get a sense what the rules around speech will be in your meditation retreat, and make sure they’re a good fit for the experience you’re hoping to have.

Other elements

Try to understand any other elements of container going in. For example, a few of our most intensive retreats use a Zen style of mindful eating called Ōryōki, which heighten the mealtime container by quite a bit.

Additional notes on retreat container

Two final notes on container. First, a retreat container will change your perception by quite a bit. It’s important that this not disrupt your life. Stay on any medications you are taking throughout your meditation retreat, even if you feel that you don’t need them or they’re interfering with your meditation practice.

You should also not make any big life decisions until you have reintegrated into your normal life for a week or two. If you feel profound clarity about something, that clarity will either stay or go post-retreat, and you’ll be glad you waited in either case.

Don’t change any medications you’re taking during a retreat, and don’t make any big life decisions until you have reintegrated into your normal life.

Second, for your own benefit as well as the benefit of your fellow practitioners, please observe your meditation retreat’s container as faithfully as you can. It’s not about “getting in trouble” vs. successfully being “sneaky”: it’s about giving your retreat a chance to change your life, free from competition with up-to-the-minute outrages by your least favorite political party, celebrity, or landlord.

Immersing yourself in a retreat container can lead to fascinating experiences, too: I once emerged from a meditation retreat to find that everyone was playing Pokémon GO, which hadn’t existed when I entered three weeks prior. A few weeks after that, it subsided.

6. Finding a Meditation Retreat: Retreat Length

The length of your meditation retreat plays a major role in how intensive it will be. Retreat length varies widely, and it’s as important as to consider as the length of a bicycle trip. Do you want to bike for 10 miles, or 2,000? You’re biking the whole time, but it’s a very different experience.

Typically, a weekend meditation retreat is the shortest type of “retreat,” as opposed to a short meditation program. Especially if this is your first meditation retreat experience, a weekend is a great starting length. You’ll be surprised how long two days is when you’re meditating all day—and what a difference the experience will make in your life.

Because settling in takes time, you’ll spend much more time fully in “retreat mode” in a weeklong retreat than in a weekend retreat.

There’s one potential downside to a shorter retreat: retreats do have a “decompression” period as you get adjusted to the retreat environment (get used to not checking your phone, get physically settled in, start to slow down…). This often takes two or even three days, so a weeklong retreat will, in general, have a much longer time where you’re really in “retreat mode” than would a weekend retreat. A week is a nice, doable length that will make a strong impression on you, so it could be great to consider.

The Vipassana community is famous for its 10-day silent meditation retreats. These retreats use a very “tight” or methodical form of meditation technique, which makes them a good meditation retreat for beginners who are looking to really dive into the deep end.

In Shambhala, we offer a one-month meditation retreat called a dathün, which is one of the most intense and transformative practices in our community. And, at the far end of commitment, we offer three-year monastic retreats.

However, joining these more intensive practice settings should be more than a sudden glint in your eye. If you’re just starting out, try a weekend!

How to Find the Best Meditation Retreat For You

Now that you have the elements above to consider, here are a few tools to help you get started on your search.

Shambhala has a community-wide program and retreat listing that lists all the retreats in our community—from hourlong meditation sessions to three-year retreats. Please have a look, and if you’re drawn to one of our retreat centres, view its program listing as well.

For a worldwide listing of retreats, Retreat Guru is a great resource. And, if you’re looking for something quite specific (like “Buddhist meditation retreat for grief and loss”), there’s always Google.

And that’s our advice on finding the best meditation retreat for you. Here’s to your next retreat being heart-opening and life-changing!